I lost it. | Journaling

lost it - itsmissizabelle.com blog - lifestyle design.png

My husband is excited to go to a “life planning retreat” -- aka 2 nights with me and the dog at the Getaway House in Virginia. And today, while talking about summer trips and budgets, I realized that my “bag of goals” is kinda empty. But me? The master of life planning? The person who turns dreams into reality? It can’t be. But it is.

I started asking myself where I left that person who, at some point, was teaching people how to set goals AND make things happen. I lost it. I completely lost it.

I got a vision board. I got planners. And I even put up a “Free Guide to Goal Setting That Works” (and let me tell you, it really does). And here I am: sitting in front of my computer, shamelessly saying that I’m on what I call “surviving mode.” With a mind full of ambitions, yes, but nothing really clear. Nothing on the paper. No wonder why it’s been hard to get off bed-- in the long term, I feel like I got nothing to look forward to.

A question: but why?

For the past year and a half I’ve just been dealing with a lot, mentally speaking. It’s been challenging. And little by little, I let that fire go down. Maybe, in the process of working on myself, my issues, my thoughts, trying to heal my past, I started neglecting my future. And my goals, and all the things I had to look forward to, started disappearing. One by one, they just got lost and forgotten.

I also put a lot of energy into the house we just sold a month ago. That project took over a year to be completed. & suck the life out of me. Maybe that’s also part of this. I focused on that one goal, and now that’s done, I feel like I got none.

I told a coaching client of mine to do the “Dreamlist” (my online guide to goal setting that works), and I told her I needed to do it, too. That was three months ago. You see, it’s hard to measure progress, or time… Months pass so fast. But I wonder what difference it’d have made in my life if I only have done that damn goal setting exercise when I said I would.

I think this thought that crossed my mind today was a wake up call. And I realized that, as much as I need to heal, this is not my final destination. Therefore, I need one (or four). If I don’t know where I’m going, I don’t know what path to take. Life, for me, is not like going on a walk without knowing where we’ll end up. I need structure. I need why. I need clarity. I don’t move in the dark.

And it’s not like I don’t have exciting things going on right now— I mean, I’m about to launch Red Skirt Media. I’m traveling to NYC next week. I’m filming female entrepreneurs I admire. I do have things to be excited about. But I still need to organize these thoughts, plans, ideas, dreams. To keep my fire up— in the long run.

So yea... a “life planning retreat” sounds great. Go to the woods for 2 days. Sit down. Get clear. Align my ambitions with how I want to feel. Be intentional. Set goals. Deadlines. Make plans. And get myself excited to get up in the morning again.

Sign up to my truthsletter 

 Sign up to the free e-course Dreamlist

Come follow @itsmissizabelle